Albania Part 2: FREEDOM!

While in Albania I wrote a blog called, “Seven Months” (You can check it out here) it explained the wrestle I was walking through with the Lord. I was experiencing a restlessness that started to bring up some old and familiar habits. Habits that can quickly turn into a cycle of emotions which in the past led to bouts of anxiety and depression. I found myself overextending in social situations so people wouldn’t notice the anxious thoughts running through my head. That then led to me being EXHAUSTED in every way at the end of the day, which then led to not wanting to get out of bed in the morning to do it all over again. 

The last time this came on was in 2019. I was living in Boston and this cycle continued for almost 4 months before I told anyone. Here I was 2 years later in Albania and it was creeping in again. I was able to catch on pretty quickly to what was happening… so I went to the Lord. As I paced up and down the rows of chairs in the church with worship music blasting, I noticed my mind pacing just as fast as my steps. 

I’ve never felt the literal presence of FEAR trying to creep into my heart and mind as much as I did in this moment. 

Fear of letting people in. 

Fear of asking for help. 

Fear of spiraling and things getting as bad as they did last time. 

Fear of not being able to snap out of it. 

I sat down trying to still my thoughts when God began to comfort me. I started to remember events of 2019 and instead of fear settling in, I received revelation. I started to see a ROOT LIE that I’ve believed and realized that is how the enemy cracks into my heart with anxiety and depression. My awareness for these things has STRENGTHENED so much in the last two years and because I know what it is, I can call it out and claim POWER over it through the name of Jesus. 

This doesn’t mean it’s easy. This doesn’t mean anxiety and depression won’t TRY to pull me down again. What it means is that as my awareness for this cycle continues to Strengthen I can begin to call it out sooner. I can stand in FRONT of it with confidence in who God created me to be. It’s a CHOICE I have to make every day. 

Later that evening I was sharing my recent revelation with my squad mentor, when she started to talk about, “Freedom”. As she was speaking, I asked God… “Am I free from this? Am I free from anxiety and depression?” and with the most gentle and confident nudge I heard him say, “yes”. A couple of minutes later my mentor started to speak freedom over me. I told her about what I’d just heard the Lord tell me and we busted out in tears of JOY! Right there, 9:30pm, in an empty church, in the middle of Albania… chains of anxiety and depression were BROKEN in the name of Jesus!! 

Freedom. 

“The state of not being imprisoned or enslaved”. 

Does claiming freedom over this mean the enemy won’t try to use it again? No. He is not creative. He uses the same lies and tactics to pull us down. So sure, maybe anxious thoughts, lies of unworthiness and a bunch of other things may be thrown at me. The TRUTH that I choose to believe because of the promises given to me by Jesus Christ is that none of these things will prosper. 

I’d love to chat more about anything I’ve written in my blog with anyone who has questions, thoughts or comments. You can email me, reach out on social media or if you have my number send a text over. Spiritual warfare is REAL. It is something I’ve grown to be VERY passionate about this year and is something I’d love to share with anyone who wants to listen. 

email: [email protected]

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-Cyntya