A Time For Everything

Today marks 2 months since I have been back in America.

I have been experiencing a mix of emotions since being back which was expected. Being home for the holidays was sweet. Sharing stories about my experience and getting to be a part of peoples everyday lives was something I dearly missed. A week after being back I jumped into a new position at my old organization and started working remotely from Texas. It was nice to have that structure and I was happy to be back with an org that is very special to me. 

In the midst of the joy and comfort of being home and back to work I’ve also felt a longing for what used to be. I miss my squad. A group of people who intentionally put in the WORK to learn how to love me well and walk alongside me through everyday life. I miss feeling like I am actively living out my faith by going to the nations, by speaking truth over others, and by sharing testimonies of the ways God is ALIVE and MOVING! 

Toward the end of the race I had a decision to make.

Go to Gainesville, GA and mentor young missionaries who were going out into the field OR go back to Boston and continue working in Outdoor Education.  

My goodness… I WAS TORN! I’d just spent the last year growing my relationship with the Lord and had experienced so many different things. I was able to share my faith every day in different ways. I did NOT want to take any steps back, but Boston was on my heart. So many things changed while I was gone and yet I was still being pulled to that place. 

After a lot of prayer and some deep discernment I chose to come back to Boston. Since making that decision I have wondered many times if I made the wrong one. I know others who are continuing to pursue what the Lord started last year by going back out into the field. I see that and I immediately think, “What am I doing?” I want to be there but I want to be here. The desire to be in multiple places at once has NEVER been stronger.

 

So, now what? Well, I’m asking God a lot of questions and trusting that he is moving even if I can’t see it. I’m asking him if I made the “wrong” decision and I am still expectant that he has something for me right where I am. Some days I miss my squad more than others and still I am excited to pick up old friendships here. I’ve considered hopping on a plane what feels like every other day and I’ve thought about planning a future in one place for awhile. 

You can imagine how this mixture of feelings could become exhausting, right? Sometimes I can process them and some days they overwhelm me. Whichever one it is, there’s NO doubt for me that God is in the middle of it all. 

 

The verses below are grounding me right now. I could tell stories for days about the way God used my experience on The World Race to show me that there truly is a time for everything. Just because I am back in America, that doesn’t change. So as I wrestle, I continuously go back to this passage for comfort and to keep building the trust I have in my heavenly father. 

 

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep and a time to cast away;

a time to tear and a time to sow;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.”

                                          -Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

If you got this far, thanks for reading. Thank you for following along through this season the Lord brought me to. If you are curious and want to continue following you can check out my new blog at the link below. 

https://uriegascyntya.wixsite.com/heartthoughts 

With Love, 

Cyntya