I’m not Patient… Jesus is.

My team has been in Guatemala for a week now! At the end of our time in each country I’ve written lists of lessons God taught and is still teaching me. As I was reminiscing one stood out to me… “I met the Lord as Patient”. 

“Patience is a virtue.” We hear this all the time and I can think of people in my life who, in my opinion, exude Patience. My mom is one of them. She has raised EIGHT kids and is the MOST PATIENT person I know. Some have told me I’m Patient but one thing God has been teaching me is I’m nowhere near as Patient as he is. 

In Colombia I took on a lot without inviting him in. Just three days after being overseas I got COVID along with 8 other squad mates. We quarantined for 14 days and couldn’t do any ministry. After we got past that I continued to fight thoughts of loneliness, isolation and not feeling a part of my squad. I struggled with leading my team when it felt like a lot was against us and felt like I was continuously failing them. I remember two distinct times in Colombia where once I was at the end of myself I let God in. Both times I was by myself and was honest with him about just how tired, frustrated, lonely, desperate and confused I was. He met me by giving me rest and by encouraging me to share what I was feeling with a teammate. (You can read more about that HERE) 

Fast forward to Costa Rica three months later. Again I found myself in a time where I felt like I was constantly contemplating something. I was asked to lead a new team and trusted God wanted me to but I had no idea how I would. I found myself exhausted and yet he called me to a time of prayer and fasting for my family. When starting the fast he asked me to let others in. He asked me to tell my team where my heart was at and to reach out to people from home for support. Here i was at a familiar space of being at the end of my own understanding. Nothing in me wanted to let others in because that made me feel weak and I wanted to do it on my own like I always do. In my obedience to ask for help God met me ABUNDANTLY through support. (You can Read an about that support HERE) He also met me through revelation while reading his word like I’d NEVER experienced before. 

Through all of this… I. WAS. STUBBORN. I was PRIDEFUL. I FOUGHT with God every step. In so much of it I felt like I was breaking until the breakthrough came. With all the  push back I gave Him he could’ve easily walked away. You’ve been there before, right? You don’t have the patience for someone or something so you choose to walk away or quit. 

God doesn’t. Still He PURSUES ME. He pursued me through those around me, those thousands of miles away In other countries, and through my growing relationship with Holy Spirit. All this time he was Patient. He let me ask the questions, cry the tears, and struggle to trust him, while asking nothing in return. I think this is going to be a continuous lesson for me and still I feel my patience growing. When I look back and see how faithful he is to meet me when I’m ready I know he will continue to wait FOR and WITH me. 

God is Patient. He doesn’t force us to follow him or be obedient. He pursues us endlessly because he loves us that much. How do you think God pursued you today? Leave a comment down below, because It’s not a matter of IF he did but HOW he did. Praying for whoever is reading this wether you’re patient or not God can always help us be more Patient. 

Thank you for following along! Stay tuned for more updates from Guatemala and if you feel called to support financially you can do that through Venmo (Curiegas) 

Growing in Patience, 

Cyntya